Staying best friends with your spouse

Think back to what it was that first attracted you to your spouse. You may have met participating in a sport, hobby, or class. You may have met on a blind date. Whatever the scenario, marriage resulted because you enjoyed being with each other. You liked each other and you became and remained friends. In order to celebrate your marriage, you have to “like.” Now I know that some of you reading this right now are saying, “Like? Friends? You’ve got to be kidding. We hardly even cross paths anymore with our jobs, our children, our hobbies, and our committee involvements. How are we supposed to be friends?” By having fun together! Most importantly, you must find commonalities; things in which you share an interest.

Think back to when you were first dating. What were the things you enjoyed doing together? Why not experience them again? I cannot think of a better illustration than the process of Laura developing an appreciation for golf, my hobby of passion, although, it didn’t start out so smooth. In Alma, Michigan, we have no less than 15 golf courses within a 30 minute drive. Folks in this locale spend their free time in the summer chasing the little white ball. Laura never had much time for golf. “Stupid game!” she would remark as I watched the Masters Tournament being televised at the beautiful Augusta National on Sunday afternoon. Laura is very social, so her passion was any sport that involved a team. Slowly but surely, she would find the time to play a round with me under the guise of a fun summertime “date.” There is no substitute for good timing, and it all came together when Laura’s friend Beth asked if she wanted to attend golf school. Three days away with her friends was incentive enough for Laura, plus it gave her the chance to hone her skills. Her love of the game was enough incentive for me to shell out the bucks, so off went my little weekend hacker and back came by dream girl! The love of my life now shares my most passionate hobby. Now instead of me begging for “golf dates,” I am given the day and tee time to enter into my schedule. Now instead of dreaming of a golf vacation, Laura has developed specifications for the accommodations which include a view of the greens. It is a tribute to her flexibility and willingness to learn that has given us golf as a common interest. Now she says all I have to do is learn to love to shop! ARRGH!

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